Several minutes later Buffy and Angel walked into the mansion. The walk back had been silent, and the tension had grown between them, neither sure what to say to the other. Buffy stood uncertainly in the foyer as Angel moved to the fireplace and stirred the embers to new life, adding a few logs so that a small blaze soon lightened the room. He took of his jacket and sat on the hearth next to the fire, motioning g for Buffy to join him. Hesitantly, she walked across the room, leaving her jacket on the arm of the couch. The usually self-confidant slayer stood uneasily before her vampire love, unsure what to do.

Angel looked up with a soft sigh. "Sit down, Buffy. I don't bite." A bit of the tension eased out of his body when her lips quirked in a small grin at his unconscious repetition of what he'd told her the night they met. Buffy sank to the floor, not really next to him but still within arms reach. The tension gradually built up again, as neither said anything until Angel couldn't take it any longer. "This won't ever get better until you start talking to me and stop hiding."

Buffy flinched a little at his harsh tone, hearing the anger in his voice. "I know," she whispered. "I just don't know where to start, and I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing it'll just make things worse." Angel simply looked at her calmly, waiting for her to begin. Buffy took a deep breath and did just that. "First of all, I need to tell you two things. The first is that I'm sorry I hurt you last week when I left. It's the last thing I ever want to do. The second is that no matter what, I love you. I have to feeling this is going to be an ugly, painful discussion, and that I'll accidentally hurt you more, or make you angry, or disappoint you, but no matter what happens, I still love you."

"I love you, too," Angel responded quietly. "And you're right, I am hurt and angry. But, I know that you are upset too, and I hate that. We may not get it straightened out tonight, but I do love you, and I will keep trying until things are better." Angel shifted uncomfortably when he was finished, wondering if Buffy had read into what he was saying. If she could hear what he meant in what he wasn't saying. This unbearable tension was about more than just the gut wrenching pain that had resulted from his masquerade as Angelus. In actuality it had been building since his return from Hell, if not from the point he had lost his soul. The perpetual emergencies in their lives had forced some confrontations, but nothing had really been resolved, and they both needed that sense of closure, no matter what the eventual outcome. Angel was not giving up his light without a fight.

"I guess I'll start at the beginning?" Buffy asked hesitantly. She guessed that he wanted to talk about the other problems they had, but she wasn't ready yet. *One problem at a time* she said to herself. "I came to talk to you one night and Faith was here. She was so close to you, and it kind of hit me hard and fast. What the happiness clause means. That if I'm the one you love, and I'm the only one that can truly make you happy, you can't lose your soul if you're with someone else." Buffy's head was down, unable to face him. Angel stared at her in shock, as a tear ran down her cheek and dripped off her chin. He opened his mouth in protest, but she continued before he could speak. "I know you wouldn't do that Angel," she whispered. "I meant it when I told Faith that you would never voluntarily touch her. But, it kind of struck me that because you're with me, you're alone, and I don't want that for you. You shouldn't have to be alone any more; you shouldn't have to suffer more."

"Buffy I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to be with you, and the reason I want you is that I love you. Faith came on to me yes, but I said no because I love you. I don't want her; I want you." Angel sighed in exasperation. "Even if we aren't together I can't be with anyone else as long as I'm in love with you. That would be using the other person. The demon used and killed people for over a hundred years; I'm not going to do the same thing for a few moments of fleeting pleasure."

Buffy smiled at him shyly. "I know," she whispered. "But it's really nice to hear." She dropped her eyes and cleared her throat nervously as she prepared to continue. "We didn't really talk about the emotional problems that might happen when I asked you to pretend to be Angelus. I didn't want to tell you how much he scared me, how much he still scares me. But that's not what freaked me out when I saw you, when I saw how good you were at being him. It was the instant where I instinctively locked up at not only a threat, but the possibility that it might be real. That if it wasn't real this time, what about next time? And knowing that if someone ever succeeded in taking your soul, I would lose you again." Tears were now running slowly down her face, and Buffy struggled to choke back the sobs that were welling from deep within.

"I'm not going anywhere...." Angel started, his voice trailing off. Buffy jumped to her feet and started pacing, missing the pain and regret that dominated his face before he managed to pull a calm mask together.

"You can't promise me that Angel. It's not like you're a popular guest at the vampire family reunion. They all pretty much want you dead. Spike would love to start a 'Let's Drain the Slayer and Turn Angelus to Dust' club. There's all the weird stuff that's going on; it seems to be getting worse. It's entirely possible the next bad guy, evil demon, or dimensional gate will kill you. And it would destroy me to loose you again. It almost did the first time. I was practically brain-dead when you lost your soul, and I wanted to die when I sent you to Hell. When I came home it was because I'd managed to lock all those feelings up so I could function again, and then what happens?" Buffy threw her arms in the air, as if beseeching heaven for answers. She continued pacing, her movements sharp as she continued. "You come back, and I start losing control again. I don't know what to think or feel anymore Angel."

"I'm sorry," whispered Angel, his dark chocolate eyes swimming with tears and guilt. He hated thinking about her hurting for any reason, and knowing he was the cause was unbearable.

"NO!" Buffy shouted at him. "Don't be sorry Angel, it's not your fault. You warned me at the very beginning that we couldn't be together, but in the end we couldn't stay away from each other. It's happening again. But this time something is different. I know you love me, and I didn't know that before. I have a very clear grasp on what you mean when you say you've done horrible things, even thought it wasn't really you. I know what it'll do to me to loose you again. And I know you can hurt me worse than anything or anyone else in the world. I also know it doesn't matter."

Buffy took a deep breath and calmed down, crouching in front of him, resting her hands on his knees. Angel reached out to wipe the tears away, and she leaned into his touch with a small sigh of contentment. "It doesn't matter because I love you. Still, always, forever, no matter what. When I was fighting with Faith, and watching you pace behind her, a part of me was focusing on how I felt, not on what we were trying to accomplish. I have the feeling you think I left because I couldn't trust you again, but nothing could be farther from the truth. I left you because I trust you, need you so much it terrified me. I realized that no matter what happens I will always love you. If you lost your soul again I would still love you, want you, miss you. I would fight Angelus but not kill him unless I was forced to because I know Willow can bring you back. You can hurt me and I'll always forgive you because you never do it on purpose. I would follow you anywhere, do anything you ask, give up everything because I love you."

"Buffy, I love you, so much. I was hurt because I thought you didn't trust me. I had no idea you were scared of your feelings; I thought you were scared of me. And I would never take advantage of you," Angel breathed, touched beyond belief at what she was telling him. He had never doubted that she loved him; trust and forgiveness were hard sells, but he always knew that Buffy loved him. But, he had never dared hope that she loved him that deeply, that surely. That she could return his own feelings so exactly. He knew that it could easily turn obsessive if the emotions were just a little darker, but the absolute purity of self-sacrificing love kept things from getting out of control. He would do anything to ensure Buffy's happiness, even if it meant watching her move on with someone else, or returning to Hell.

"I know. And that only makes me love you more." Buffy sighed with relief when he gathered her into his lap and cradled her head against his chest. She knew things weren't completely resolved between them, but the tension that had been in both of them since she left him two weeks ago was now gone. They would eventually have to talk about everything they'd been avoiding since his return, going into more details about what had happened, and how they both felt, and she certainly wasn't looking forward to it, but it was infinitely better than the alternative. 'I will not give up on you Angel, on us' she thought to herself, relaxing in Angel's embrace, slipping into the first deep sleep she'd had in weeks.

"I love you Buffy," Angel whispered to the drowsy slayer, feeling her breathing slow as she drifted off. "More than I'll ever be able to tell you." Angel wasn't looking forward to telling her of the warning Whistler had brought, or talking about their other problems, but he resolutely pushed those worries aside. Buffy loved him still; she'd simply been overwhelmed. He would make sure she understood she could talk to him about everything and anything later. Right now he just wanted a few minutes of peace as he held his sleeping Slayer, and basked in the glow he got from knowing she loved him.