"So, neither of them is as OK with our relationship as you thought, hoped, and wanted." Buffy nodded, settling her head on Angel's chest, under his chin, staring into the fire, stifling a yawn. "And they are both so much a part of you, that their opinion really matters, and this hurts you." Another nod, prompting Angel to gently thread the fingers of his free hand through her hair, stroking the silky strands reassuringly. "On top of all that, they had an irresponsible, inconsistent encounter together that they kept from you, making them look a little like hypocrites. *They* had a one night stand with someone that they barely know, and don't really like sometimes, and *then* have the *nerve* to call our relationship into question. After all, *we* are actually in love with each other, and are still together, trying to work things out when most people would have thrown in the towel long before now. And we aren't hiding our relationship anymore, but they've been keeping secrets."

Angel looked down at his love, curled against him sleepily. "How am I doing?" he asked, again awed at the idea that she trusted him enough to sleep unprotected in his arms. Angel could tell Buffy was ready to succumb to the exhaustion she'd been pushing away since the voices had started to overwhelm her two days ago, but he wanted to be sure that the problem was clearly outlined before she slipped into sleep. Hiding from things, or avoiding them, was part of their problem, and they'd agreed to try to stop doing that. Angel knew that it wasn't the relationship between Giles and her mother that had Buffy so upset; in different circumstances and given time, Buffy would probably have been supportive of the relationship, and happy for both of them. The anger was a cover for the hurt regarding their opinion of her relationship with him, and the inconsistency of what they said and did, versus what they really felt.

"You're way too good at this," Buffy said, again studying the hand she held between hers. She knew what Angel was doing, and she hated adding yet another thing to the list of problems they had to work out. "Sometimes you're too good at getting into my head. It keeps me from avoiding things I'd rather not talk about." Angel simply squeezed her hands gently, waiting for her to talk.

Buffy started slowly, knowing this was going to hurt Angel, and probably reinforce his insecurities, but she'd promised him honesty. "I'm scared of what will happen when you leave," she confessed quietly. "I know that it will hurt despite the fact that we know it's coming and can prepare. I'm going to be hurting, and missing you like crazy, and all of a sudden I'll be faced with my Watcher and my mother being *glad* that you're gone. I'm going to need their support, but I won't get it. They won't rub my nose in it or anything, but they'll be pushing me to get over you, to get won with my life." Buffy shifted against Angel, bringing his hand to her mouth to brush apologetic kisses across his knuckles. "They are going to be so angry with me when I tell them I'm not going to move on, that..." her voice trailed off, and she swallowed hard against the tears that were welling at the thought of Angel leaving.

Angel sat still for several moments, gathering his thoughts as Buffy did the same. Heart breaking at what he was about to say, the vampire forced himself to make the offer, his voice tentative. "What if you don't have to tell them that we're trying to work things out?" Buffy stiffened in his arms, and Angel rushed on, wanting to get the words out before she could interrupt him or he chickened out. "I mean, they can just see that I've left you, hurt you again. Maybe when they see how upset you are, they won't push you to move on too quickly."

Buffy sighed and relaxed a little, using one of her fingers to trace the lines of his fingers. "You might have the right idea," she finally allowed. "I hate lying to them, but if it'll keep them off my back when I'll be missing you already...I don't really want *more* lectures on why things would never work out between us. I get enough of those from you to last a life time. So, letting Mom and Giles live in happy unreal land where we aren't together may be the best way to deal with your departure until we've worked everything out between us." Buffy threw Angel a threatening look. "Because I know that's what you meant just now. I mean, you *couldn't* have been suggesting that we stop trying, not after that little discussion we had last week, right?"

Caught, Angel managed a guilty nod, his turn to avoid her probing eyes. He should have known Buffy would see through his attempt to set her free; in actuality he'd been praying she would. No matter how much he believed he didn't deserve her, Angel would rather go back to hell than live on Earth without Buffy.

Satisfied with his response, Buffy continued, confessing quietly. "I keep having nightmares with horrible arguments between us, Mom, and Giles. Where they're asking me to choose between them and you."

There it was. The fear was finally out in the open. Angel sighed and pulled her even closer, if that was possible. "I would never ask you to choose between us Baby," he whispered into her hair. "I know how much you love them. You need them so much. I hate to think what it would do to you to lose Giles or your mother. I would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship with either of them."

"I know Angel. You love me too much." Buffy reassured him, pressing a soft kiss to his chest above his heart. "You'd destroy yourself if it meant making me happy. You proved it again when you offered to leave, even though you'd rather go back to hell." Angel started, and the Slayer smiled knowingly. She knew him just as well as he knew her, and sometimes she needed to remind him of that. "That's why you fought the idea of leaving so hard, because you know it'll hurt me again. I guess I just wish they loved me that much, as much as you do."

Angel froze at the hurt in Buffy's voice. He tilted her chin up so she could see his eyes, his heart breaking at the tears she was trying so hard to keep from falling. "They do love you that much Buffy," he told her, kissing each escaping tear away as it fell. "They just want the best for you, and that's not me. But, I make you happy, and until you tell me different, that's the way it is. I'm going to do my best to keep making you happy, even if I don't think I deserve you. Giles and your mom aren't ready to see that yet. Their own hurt and fear is in the way. But, no matter what, I promise, Giles and your Mom want your happiness more than anything else in the world. Given time, they'll come around."

Buffy looked into Angel's eyes for long moments, seeing his sincere belief in what he was saying there. "OK," she finally allowed. "I'll try to remember that, and not let it get to me. 'Cause I don't see things changing anytime soon. Maybe that will be one of the things I can work on while you're gone." She settled back against him, allowing his presence to warm her heart as she let the tension finish draining out of her. "I just wish they could see what I see when I look at you," Buffy muttered as she drifted off to sleep.

"I wish I could see it too," Angel said quietly into the silent room, sadness rising inside him. He shook off the dark thoughts to concentrate instead on memorizing every feeling Buffy brought out in him, imprinting her image in his mind for the times when they'd be apart. All along, a part of him hating that their relationship had once more brought pain to his beloved slayer, and wondering when the hurt would stop.