Angel's eyes flooded with guilt, and he started to pull away, sickened and ashamed at the memories of Angelus' taunts, horrified that he hadn't stopped to realize how his words would affect Buffy. Buffy grabbed his shoulders and wouldn't let him back away, pulling him close enough to look him in the eye. "It wasn't you Angel, and how could you know how much that particular lie would hurt me if I didn't let you know what the demon made me feel?"

"I *should* have known," Angel insisted, pain filled chocolate eyes finally meeting Buffy's gaze steadily. "I should have known because of how much it hurt me when you told me about Scott. It felt as though you didn't want to be with me; like the only reason you were helping me was because you felt guilty and you pitied me. I never want to feel like that again, but I just made *you* feel unwanted."

At an impasse the Slayer and the vampire sat on the floor of Angel's mansion, an uncomfortable silence stretching between them. They were casting surreptious glances at each other, wondering if this would be the final death knell of their relationship before realizing that they had weathered worse, and probably would again. Each had silently reaffirmed their resolve to see their relationship work, when Buffy cleared her throat and ventured, "So, that final sign showed up to say 'Time to go Angel.' What was it?"

Angel shifted uneasily, not wanting to add any strain to Buffy's relationship with her mother. He stalled a little by telling her, "I had a dream. It was perfect Buffy. We were getting married, and it was a beautiful day. We walked out the doors of the church after the ceremony, into the sun, and..." Angel's voice trailed off into a whisper. "You burst into flame. You burned like a vampire would, because you had tied yourself to me." His tall frame shuddered involuntarily at the memory, prompting Buffy to creep a little closer so she could lean against his shoulder.

"So that's where the whole 'walk in the sun' thing came from," she commented quietly, understanding his panic a little better. She herself tended towards major wiggins when bad things happened to Angel in her dreams. "And I know that it bothers you that we can't make love, and that because you're a vamp, even if we could make love, we can't have children. We can work on finding away around the curse along with everything else and as for kids... *If* we decide that we want kids later on, there are ways for me to have a baby, just like there are for any other couple with problems conceiving. But, where did the 'normal life' thing come from? Because, I hate to break it to you Angel, my life has been continents, if not planets, away from normal since the day I was called. You, more than anyone else, should know this. Where was that coming from? Do you have *any* idea what would happen to a normal guy that got involved with me? Assuming he didn't think I was insane or get killed on our first date, he would prabably feel threatened by my strength, or at the very least resent that he won't come first, that slaying is always more important. You *know* this; more than half of our dates *started* as patrol, and nearly all the rest *ended* that way!" Buffy lifted her head from his shoulder to stare at him, waiting for a response.

Angel shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Buffy's eyes. The Slayer grabbed his chin and forced him to meet her gaze. She steeled her spine and took a deep breath, knowing she wouldn't want to hear the response, but asking anyway. "Angel, we promised no secrets. You can tell me that you aren't ready to talk about it, but I'd really like to know; what finally set you off?"

Angel closed his eyes and murmured quietly. "Your mother came to see me the day after you spent the night."

Buffy closed her eyes as a fresh wave of anger roiled through her, this time directed at her mother. The Slayer had to swallow hard before finding her voice and when she did speak it was tight with betrayal. "What did she say to you Angel? What did she say that made you think, even for a moment that you needed to leave me?"

"She reminded me how young you are, how much you'll be experiencing in college next year. That being with me might be holding you back, keeping you from trying new things, meeting new people."

"People meaning normal, human guys my age," Buffy guessed knowingly, remembering the pain in Angel's eyes when he'd listed all the things he couldn't give her. She sighed and settled her head back on his shoulder. "Angel, we've been over this before, but I have the feeling we'll go over this again until it finally sinks into your stubborn head. *I* *don't* *want* *a* *normal* *guy.* Yes, there are times when I wish I were normal, that the biggest problems I had to face were keeping up with the latest fashions and deciding what to study in college. But, look at the way I reacted when I thought I was loosing my slaying powers. Being the Slayer isn't something I can give up or turn my back on. It's part of who I am now, and I'm a better person because of it. I need a man that can and will understand and accept that slaying and world savage will always come first, no matter how much it hurts, or I wish otherwise. After that, it would be nice to have someone that truly understands the danger *and* the thrill, and can back me up without getting killed. That pretty much rules out any normal human being."

Angel sighed and nodded, his arm tentatively steeling out to wrap around Buffy's waist. "I do see your point," he said, resting his cheek against the top of her head. "But I still think you deserve all those things a 'normal' man can give you that I can't. And I have an advantage over your mother in the fact that I know and accept that you *aren't* normal, but I still want you to have as many of the good things as you can, just as she does."

Buffy pulled away from Angel's embrace to kneel in front of him and looked deep into his eyes, willing him to believe her. "What I deserve is a man that loves me unconditionally, who will always back me up, and will go to any lengths to make me happy, even at cost to himself. And I've found that in you. I don't want someone else, and even if I did, if this break up were real and I was forced to try to get over you, *no one* will ever love me more than you do. It would be quite a feat for someone to love me as *much* as you do. So I'm not going to waste everyone's time by looking. So you will just have to deal with the fact that I belong to you, and I always will." Buffy ended her speech with an emphatic nod, as if to add 'So there!'

Angel managed a tiny smile, and brushed a soft kiss against her forehead. "OK, I'll try to deal," he whispered, wanting to pull her close but feeling the sun slip closer to the horizon, Angel knew it was time for her to leave before they got caught. "Buffy, you'd better get going. This will all have been for naught if you get caught leaving here as though nothing had happened. The Mayor's got vamps on his team and we'll have to be careful about touching base. It might be a good idea to not see each other when it's not work related, at least for a while."

"I know," Buffy frowned, clutching his arm tightly. "How *are* we going to keep in touch? Not just now, but later?"

"I'll work something out for later, a post office box or something," Angel promised. "For now, I'll check in with Giles to make sure everything's OK, and if I need to talk to you I'll come sneak into your room in the middle of the night."

"OK," Buffy pouted, as she gathered her will to pull away. "You'd better be careful though, 'cause ever since Mom found out I snuck out through my window, her Mom radar has been in overdrive." She managed to stand and walk to the doorway before turning back to look at Angel, who was still sitting on the floor. Her heart clenched at how lonely he looked already, and she was still in the room, but the Slayer in her reminded the love struck girl about responsibilities, and the hope of a stronger, better relationship if their separation could be made to work in their favor. "I guess I won't really see you around until the Ascension, but Angel..." Buffy's trailed off as she dashed back to land a hard kiss on his cool lips, whispering a fierce warning into his ear before disappearing into the dusk.

Though whispered, her final words seemed to echo in Angel's mind. "If you ever do that to me again..." her voice had left the rest unspoken, but the vampire had no trouble finishing the thought.

"It may very well kill us both," Angel whispered into the suddenly too quiet room. He felt the distance between them already; even though he had yet to leave town. This was going to hurt like Hell. Maybe literally.